User Profile

i wish there was something witty to say about my life but i can't think of anything at the moment so i'll just talk aobut the basics. I was born march 29th, 1987 in the coldest, grayest, crappiest place on the face of the planet-- better known as Edison, New Jersey. I moved to florida when i was a few months old and still shitting in diapers. My parents decided that the massive amounts of nuclear waste dumps in new jersey would not be good for me and would result in me growing large hideous tumors so they decided i needed a less threating environment where lots of old people live so its impossible for me to die of anything except old age- hence florida. I had a good childhood until middle school came and i was surrounded by immature kids who made fun of me casue i was fat (yes i know its hard to believe) then high school came around and that was an extremely defining moment in my life. I took charge of my life and lost tons of weight and stopped my chronic masturbation problem wiht a pair of oven mitts i taped to my hands. I started to become less afraid to show people the person i truly was. So that leaves us at the present day Matt Walker, still evolving, still keepin it real, and still writing this stupid bio where i fill it up with totally sad facts about my life so i can take up space in this entry and make it look like i have had a long interesting life at first glance.

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